30 Minutes on the Couch

6:02- time for the news.

We always watch the news.
He thinks Beverly Brooks is hot.

She is.
She has a beautiful smile. And, I read somewhere on the internet that she had a minor role in the new movie The Green Hornet... or was it The Green Lantern? 
Anyway, it was some green hero comic book movie...


Some idiot must have done her hair tonight. It's unusually big.
I think the same idiot did her make-up, too. 
She must have pissed someone off. 

Time for sports.
Boring.

 I couldn't care less about high school basketball.


I like the hair on his arms.

It's dark and curly. It's cute. And, it's not like the arm of the missing link either.


I knew this guy who had really hairy arms. We were playing volleyball down at Crystal Beach. He was smokin' hot, too. He kind of looked like Ben Affleck, (a little).

Anyway, good lookin' guy, gonna play some volleyball. Then, he took off his shirt...

Wow.
I distinctly remember throwing up a little in my mouth.
I think he was Silverback's second cousin.
Gross.


Eight.
He has eight little freckles on his hand.
Who has freckles on their hands?
He does.

I wonder how many he has on his left hand.

I may never know.
It's always his right hand.
Whether we are riding in the Jeep or sitting on the couch, it's always his right hand holding my left, on my knee, or around my shoulders.
Maybe next time, I will sit on the other side.

 They're cute. Eight little freckles on his hand.


He's saying something.

I think he's been talking for a few minutes now, but I don't know. I'll look at him and nod until I figure out what he's talking about.

Hmmm....


Another truck commercial. Ford.

I like Ford, but I don't know if they're the BEST in Texas. That's a tall claim.


Lexington is in the kitchen.

Scream barking again.

AAAAHH-RUFF!

Maybe Prince Charming will go get a milk bone for him.
I don't really feel like getting up.

AAAAHH-RUFF!

God, make him stop!
It's like a crying baby. Only it's not a crying baby. It's a dog!
That's not a bark. It's more like a scream. 
Scream barking that will cause blood to pour from my ears!

I think Prince Charming is waiting me out.
I wish he would just get the milk bone for Lexington.
It's a Mexican stand-off.

Which of us will get the milk bone to save our eardrums?

I know.
I will look at the T.V. like I am enthralled with the footage of the fender bender on the Neches River Bridge.

It was shut down for two hours this afternoon. Firetrucks, ambulances, and busted taillight pieces on the road... Must have been an awful accident.

Thank goodness.
He caved.
Nick Nack Paddy Whack, he'll give the dog a bone.
I won.
Yay, me!

Domino's commercial.
256 a day.
I'd better order early tomorrow night.
It would suck to be 257- then I wouldn't get the special price.

That didn't take long.
No more scream barking dog mouth Lexington.

He's happily in his kennel, crunching on his milk bone.


He's talking to me again...

Smile and nod.
Works every time.

Right hand on my knee. 
I think it's softer than mine.
Probably because he smokes.
Smokers have soft skin. Maybe, it's the nicotine.

Finally, the weather.

Crap.
70's and sunny.
No hope of school being canceled for that.
Looks like I'll have to go again tomorrow.


If that kid makes fart noises again tomorrow, I will definitely call his mom.

6:30 already?
I'll wait to get up.

My favorite commercial is on.

"London Broadcasting Company, Texas born, Texas proud. We are Texas..."


I think the big wigs up in Austin should add that to the Texas Pledge.

                                    I pledge allegiance to thee Texas,
                                    One state [under God],
                                    One and indivisible.
                                    Texas born, Texas proud,
                                    We are Texas.

I would say it. 

I would say it and mean it, too.

 Scream barking again, already?
 Okay, okay.
I guess it's my turn to fetch the dog a bone...

WWJD?

Over the past decade, I have taught every grade level from seventh to twelfth grade. 
Teaching hormonal teens can make for some interesting days. One day they love me, but the next day they hate me. 

I don't take their remarks to heart. Like my momma always said...

Momma always knows just what to say, and I find myself using the same remarks on my own children and even my students.

I don't think they really get it though...

While I was lecturing on figurative language last week, a student decided to talk to her friend. 

 This was rude and somewhat annoying, so I snapped at her while I kept lecturing...

Usually this technique works without disrupting class and the student stops talking; however, this girl just didn't get it. She kept talking.

Some students like to pretend they weren't doing anything wrong. She was one of those students.

This is particularly annoying, because she is insinuating that I was imagining the whole thing. Since I know what I saw and I know what I heard, I refuse to argue my sanity. Also, when I ask a student to, "please, stop talking," there is no need for said student to make any remark other than, "yes, ma'am."

Now, plenty of students have gotten angry with me over the past ten years. Some have voiced their hatred for me during such occasions. 
Even with this experience,I was not prepared for what this student yelled...

She ended up getting suspended from school when she went and yelled at the principal.

Here it is, several days later, and I am still wondering what Jesus would say about this. 
Maybe...

Heart Breaker

Throughout my life, Valentine's Day has always been my favorite holiday. A celebration of love is such a romantic Bohemian ritual. I cannot deny the pitter- patter of my heart when receiving tokens of adoration from the one I fancy.

 Getting the perfect Valentine's gift is an art that a man must learn over the course of his life. Here are some Valentine's Days in my life worth mentioning:

High school
He isn't sure of what he should get, so he just gets anything he can grab from the local Walgreens.

Over compensating? Probably.


College
He isn't sure of what to get, so he spends a lot of dough and hopes for the best.

Over compensating? Definitely.


Married
He has no idea of what to get, so he orders flowers to be delivered to work and takes her to dinner...

Over compensating? Nope- just plain lazy.


I regress...
Elementary School
He has just noticed girls, and is completely unsure of how the whole "love" thing works. He decides to shoot for the woo-effect and romance her with a poem he wrote. Good call. Probably should have stopped there.

Fourth grade girls can be brutal. There was NO WAY I would ever wear a macaroni necklace. That was so third grade.

Just call me Heart Breaker. Not a proud moment in my adolescence.


Despite all that I have said about men, women too have to learn about the gifting of Valentine's Day. It's just as much an art of gifting for men as it is accepting those gifts gracefully for women.


Luckily, over time we both get better at the whole Valentine's Day thing. 
Simpler is better, and much more appreciated.

Yummy Hershey's truffles. All hail chocolate!


And so ends a very Happy Valentine's Day!